It has been one of those quintessential Colorado weekends. Blue skies, 70 degrees and no wind. I was undergoing a slight battle with myself – fighting some unknown impulse that I should be outside and climbing or hiking or otherwise taking advantage of such perfect weather. Its funny that even though I am currently unemployed the fact that it was also a weekend added to this pressure.
Where does this come from? I spent time with friends, relaxed, read, packed for my trip to Mexico and from most perspectives this was a great weekend. I wonder if this is yet another area of life that I put undue pressure on myself? I live in a place like Boulder with 300+ sunny days so that I DON’T have to get out every single nice day but can gladly choose what works best for me. If I really delve into this feeling, I think it comes from a fear of running out of time, of getting old, of only having a finite number of days to live to the fullest. The irony is that as I felt the pressure to get out and do something ‘adventurous’ today I was detracting from whatever I was doing in the moment. This entire week has highlighted the distinction in my life between planning and being. There is a delicate balance that I am trying to master… more on this later.